Really horrible day

Okay hi. I don't wanna explain so much about today. So, mrs jean tan came into class today and called out some people, i was included. Then she gave us this form, which apparently recommends us to drop a subject. I'm recommended to drop to COMBINED SCIENCE. Which means taking 7 subjects instead of 8 and CHANGING CLASS PERMANENTLY. It was a huge blow to me. I must have cried at least thrice today, but i'm sure it's more times than that. The feeling was really really terrible. Whenever a teacher talked to us about the issue, i cried. I felt so annoyed with myself but i can't control it cause i absolutely do not want to drop to combined science! I felt slightly lifted when i received encouragements from everyone, but at the same time i also felt worse, it's difficult to describe. Cause i'm reminded again and again of how awful my situation is.

Mrs Tan said that we can write an appeal letter to the principal, but ultimately it's up to them to judge whether or not we should drop. It's too uncertain for me, i can't guarantee anything so it's extremely worrying. However ms wong said that the decision lies with us at the end of the day, i'm confused, because things would be so different if we could just choose whether or not we want to stop!! Anyway, my mom's writing that letter, and i have complete confidence in her! I can work hard sure, but if they don't let me carry on in pure science, i won't be able to do anything about it despite how hard i work! SO HEADSTART PERIOD IS CRUCIAL. I must show that i am going to strive to work hard and that i really want to take those subjects! I'm still in shock after the whole thing. It is a really big blow to me so i don't know how to take it up. But i know that this is part of God's plans for me so i'm willing to face it. And i'm just going to do my best, and leave the rest up to God's will. But doing my best is going to be easier said than done for sure. First part of this crap is to set my mindset correctly. I can do it!! I KNOW I CAN, IT SUCKS HOW I'M MIGHT NOT RECEIVE A SECOND CHANCE. WHATEVER. I can't not think about this as much as i don't want to, so idk what to do. Okay thist post is not meant for me to feel worse! BYE THEN. I hope that THIS will be the hardest i'll fall, but i know this situation is not yet the worse it can get, despite how sucky it alr is. I just keep falling harder and harder! OKAY, I MUST HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN GOD! Shall end this post OFFICIALLY, BYEEEEE!

-Sophia